for you

August 07, 2020



here, honey, listen.
when your heart aches at night
because someone breaks your heart
cry all you want 
but never turn you pain into physical 
open your door 
call someone in
borrow their shoulder
and weep all you want
but it's fine if you want to keep your door close for a while
and if it's not one's shoulder you seek
and if it's not tears you want to let falling down
if the music heals you, then let the sound accompanies you,
if the writing heals you, then let the words brings out what your voice couldn't,
but believe me, honey, the razors and the substances don't have the power to heal, 
but only to destroy you into smaller pieces,
and when you have become smaller & smaller,
sometimes you forget you exist.

she doesn't need a knight in shining armor

January 18, 2020

tw//suicide

-
-

she waits in the tower of misery,
so immersed in the fantasies,
with hair grown so long she can't wait to see,
the person that will ask her to let down her hair
so s/he can climb up
and make her happy.

she peeks from her window
every season, on her tiptoe
wondering why no one comes to say hello
questioning and blaming her nonexistent flaw
that fails to attract any fellow.

her cries are never heard,
her pleads are never known,
it hits her real hard,
that she has no one but her own.

her hair is now short,
hangman's noose in a knot,
she stands on her wooden chair,
walking straight, dangling in the air. 

but the ties never break her neck,
she screams, hugging her back
the tower still held her hostage
and she can't think about anything else.

her hand is bruised, her face is bloated
one look at mirror is all it takes
for her to realize all her mistakes
for depending too much on another soul
to fix whatever reason the tower was built 

once again she peeks from the window,
just now it was raining, but now it's gone
and if no one will come and bring her to see the rainbow,
she'll chase the rain away from dusk to dawn
until she found one to settle on. 

because she doesn't need a knight in shining armor,
to prove that she's worthy of something more.


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