My midnight thoughts are too engrossed with whys healing come to slow for me. Why I could not yet fully embrace my past, and what it had costed me be it relationship or time.

I said I had healed,
and everything was all in the past,
But whenever the clock strikes two,
And a black thin tip pen is on my right,
The papers witnessed the truth Ive yet to conceived.

I said I had forgotten
Yet whenever the sight of them came passing through,
I couldnt help but think
Of the hell they had put me into.

I said I had forgiven
Yet whenever I looked under my skin
Of the cuts and bruises that turned into scars
The old wound teared and bled again.

I said I had moved on,
Yet whenever I wanted to write
The only thing in my head was
me,her and them

I lost myself and got no one to blame except me.